A large room preferably, with most of the area at the centre cleared off. Close the windows, draw the curtains. Close the doors. Reach for the light switches. Even the fans. All turned off? Now raise your hand, bring it till your face till you can feel your breath. Do you see it? If yes, you're doing something wrong, check for that small sliver of light from under some door, a gap in the blinds perhaps. Done? Good.
Try and make your way back to the centre of the room, dont grab on anything. Just stand. Close your eyes. Now open them. How do you know they're open? Blink. Turn around a few times. Do you know which direction you're facing in? Where are you? Is the ground still beneath your feet? You feel like your falling, falling into an endless void, falling into oblivion.
Be quiet. Listen. To your heart, your breathing. The steady beat of your heart, in the percussion section. Move your hand through the darkness, smooth as satin, slipping like silk from between your fingers. Listen very carefully, hear the rustling sound. Your mind plays games with you, a light breeze feels like a hurricane tearing through your consciousness. Each sound amplified a million times, completing the symphony of the night along with your heart.
Are you afraid? Do you feel the beads of sweat on your forehead? There is nothing, nobody around...but the mind, yet again, plays games. What is it that you fear? The nothingness, the oblivion? The feeling of chaos in order, of delirium standing still, of absolute cluelessness though you know perfectly well - or think you do - of where you are?
Be afraid. Close your eyes, again. Listen, again. Unknowingly, your lips curl into a smile, you open your eyes. You feel the darkness wash all over you, a cold shudder makes its way through your body, the head, the shoulders, right upto the toes. It is then that you see - there is such beauty in it! Beauty in simplicity personified. Mission accomplished. Make your way back to the switches, grappling around. See your world, seemingly originating from thin air, originating from oblivion...
Silk, symphony, simplicity...how had you missed it all these years?
3 comments:
This mystifying post perhaps describes the psychological underpinnings of certain age-old religious practices. Sages seek out caves. Churches have crypts. And the sanctum-sanctorum in Southern Indian shrines is usually dark, camphor-lit only in a scintillating moment of revelation. Darkness is seen as humbling and purificatory. When the fear associated with darkness-made anthropomorphic in different forms such as night-wandering raakshasas, werewolfs or gargoyles- is conquered by an awareness that survives even when the senses are numbed, the Gods entirely envelop our awareness. They literally show themselves, both within and without!
arre kundi..u sound like a despo!!
I somehow manage to drift away into oblivion in class.
In a stupor.Glazed eyes. A vague smile on my face. Voices hardly penetrating through. Yeah.
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