The Vent - I

So here I am blogging again, after such a god forsaken interval of time, I often wonder why I don't quit altogether. But the keyboard always holds some lure that brings me back to it. The only writing I have done lately is the one I was made to in the written English exam out here. That was an essay and writing it did make me happy, so here I am, pounding the keyboard on Chakku's laptop. BTW, thanks a ton Chakku! This machine is my lifeline, with no phone, no TV, basically nothing.

That said, the title (probably one of many to come) serves the exact purpose of this piece. And the reason why I originally started blogging. Periods of uncertainty in my life tend to push this out of me. I keep it bottled up, it gets worse. I tell it to the world, they might call me a loser, but it still makes me feel better. I don't know why, but I have a nagging feeling of insecurity about myself at this point, no clue about how well or how badly I'll do, what the immediate future holds. Haven't spoken to the folks at home for nearly two weeks, so there is some strange worry perpetually at the back of my mind.

College is yet to start in earnest, but in the only 2 lectures I sat for, assignments have already been given, so studying has started yesterday too. Shopping needs to be done, I'm not sure what courses I'm getting and cooking cycle is not yet set. None are very big issues and things will probably sort by next weekend, but I can't shake off a sense of peculiarity today.

Doing this helps a bit. Guess I'll just sign off and go for a long walk :)